


second best

by MooksMookin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Open ended, a bit graphic metaphor in the beginning?, iwa is datin hinata and oikawa is. hm., this is just metaphor bullshit tbh, unrequited oihina from oikawas pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 07:25:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15138122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MooksMookin/pseuds/MooksMookin
Summary: being in love with your best friend's boyfriend is difficult stuff fam!





	second best

**Author's Note:**

> some angst enjoyyyyyyyy

It was like a knife lodged into his chest and carved out his heart, sliced all the way down to his stomach and spilled out his guts. He hated this-- hated this so _much._ It was too much at times, to see this, to see _them,_ happy and healthy and _happy_ and--

Oikawa wanted to puke.

He figured he should be _happy_ for his best friend, be _supportive_ like a best friend _should_ be. But all he could do was bite back bitter retorts and the bile that rose in this throat whenever he was reminded that he was second best.

That’s what his life always was, after all. Second best.

He sees the smiles, the flushed cheeks, the stolen hugs and kisses and hands held under tables. It chokes him, constricts him with a never ending jealousy that burns him alive from the inside out. It tears at him, at his heart, at his soul, at just the _fact_ that they're together.

And he _hates_ it. More than anything, he _hates it._

But he refuses to act on it. He at least has _that_ semblance of dignity in tact. He swallows it like a horse pill that lodges in his throat, making him cough, nausea pooling deep in his stomach.

On bad days, he can feel waves of tsunamis behind his eyes, ready to pour and bring destruction to everything that he is. He fights it, but his will and pride become hopeless, helpless debris that floats along in the flood. It tears him to shreds, wrecks his body as he doubles over and desperately tries to build dams with his hands to stop the overflow of tears. It’s difficult, when the pressure of the water constantly cracks concrete walls. It’s difficult, when all he wants to do is let go.

In the meantime, he wades in the aftermath, eyes and nose and cheeks burning as he tries to clean himself up, to try and hide the fact that he’s an absolute mess.

And the thing is-- he doesn’t even know if it works. Iwaizumi’s eyes linger on him, and he knows Iwaizumi is sharp. Oikawa frets that somehow he’s connected the dots, that Oikawa is absolutely one hundred percent in love with his boyfriend and can’t do anything about it out of fear of wrecking everything. The signs show in shoulder touches and unspoken words conveyed through furrowed brows and tight frowns. But Iwaizumi hasn’t said anything-- _maybe he’s afraid to as well,_ Oikawa’s mind provides him-- and Oikawa isn’t going to say anything either.

They’re both at checkmate, and it's up to the sunshine in Iwaizumi’s hands to take the king.

**Author's Note:**

> imagine the ending urself but imo hinata likes oikawa too and iwaoihina happens


End file.
